2004-07-14
Empty

For the first time since we got married, my wife and I are apart. She is spending a week house sitting for her grandmother. It's been two wonderful months, and without her I don't know what to do with myself.

It's funny. Most of my life I was empty. It's how I got the inspration for this diary name, but back then I didn't mind too much, it was all that I knew. I had always been empty so didn't know what it was like to be filled.

Now I know, because I am empty again. Without her, there is an essential spark missing from me. I find it hard to be motivated to do anything now. Even my time on the computer, one of my more favored hobbies, is less meaningful than it has been. It doesn't give me satisfaction, she's not here right now.

We talk on the phone, but it's a poor substitute. I miss my R, and she misses her G.

Plus, today I've acquired a mild but persistent headache. It's made me a little irritable today.

I had a package waiting for me at UPS that I wasn't able to pick up until yesterday evening. It told me that yesterday morning I had a test to take to get a job. Good timing. UPS wouldn't leave it at my door because a signature was required, but that same signature will prove that I didn't simply miss the test.

I called the company, and they said they'd try to see what they could do.

I'm hoping to get a better job. It would be nice.

I'm so looking forward to Friday when we meet again. On Sunday we parted company, and by Tuesday I was completely out of sorts. Wednesday I'm depressed. I don't know what I'll do Thursday. Friday Night, that's what I live for now.

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