2002-10-25
I've Returned

Well I'm back. At the time I deleted this diary I was too discouraged to continue. Unemployment was getting me down, and continued unemployment was even worse. Ultimately, I just got too depressed to even try.

Now, I temporarily had a stock template, but a close friend designed this template for me. If you like it, be sure to tell her so. I think it's rather nice.

I was even more depressed than usual recently. First there was gang activity in my neighborhood, and I was more than a little worried. I bought a gun so that I might be able to defend me and mine. I can pick it up in two weeks.

Then a little brat in the neighborhood who I had never met before started spreading slanderous rumors about me. Personally, I wanted to wring her little neck for what she was saying, but there is only so much an adult can do to a kid. I have no clue who she is, or - more importantly - who her parents are. Give me 10 minutes to talk to her dad and I'm sure he will tan her hide but good.

Then it peaked with a conflict with the designer of this page. She told me repeatedly that she felt nothing for me at all and didn't like me anymore. Then I hinted at an alternate use for my gun, to remove something else useless from this apartment complex, and she was so worried about me that she wanted to see me. We fought until finally we were friends again.

I've been a bad case of the nerves ever since, and all the coffee I've been drinking since then doesn't help. If I were inclined to medication, I'd probably take a valium. Instead I've been turning to alcohol. I think the natural medications are better anyway. If I wasn't in the military and under the constant threat of random drug tests, I'd probably turn to another natural medication. I've always believed that pot should be legal anyway.

I've lost a fingernail. I have nine of them. I injured my finger during a day with the military. I don't know if it will grow back. Normally they do - hit it with a hammer or some such. The peculiar nature of this injury makes it questionable. Even the doctors aren't sure. It was pinched, and the angle of the pinch was to push the top of my finger forwards to the tip. Well, the last of the fingernail has fallen out (with a little help) and now I just have to wait and wonder.

I've also been collecting anti-war music in my mp3 trading. If we go to war, I want to be ready. I'm entirely against the war, and have been for a long time. It seems that others are starting to agree with me. I don't want to go to war. Well, I wouldn't mind it for a good cause. I'd be proud to die for the cause of freedom, but not for the cause of Bush. Of course, I'd rather my opponent die...

Anyway, that's what's happened since I shut down.

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