2003-02-06
It all ends

This is it. My car is dead. My finances are dead. I am going to go to Saudi Arabia, which is an improvement over my current life, excepting that I am declaring bankruptcy, and as a result will have an exceedingly difficult time getting an apartment when I return.

I would use my motorcycle to get around, except winter finally arrived here. I freeze to death getting to the parking lot to the vanpool for my very temporary job of working with the Guard. Yes, I'm still unemployed.

I was so depressed Saturday (when my car initially broke down) that I was downright suicidal. Now I don't know what I'm going to do. I'll just try to hang on until I can leave the country. With war on the horizon, there's a chance I will get shot, so it's not all bad.

Meanwhile, even though I am near suicidal, I am trying to convince someone I care about to not kill herself.

Is that hypocritical?

I am going to the sandbox, and then to war. I am going bankrupt. I am 30 and a bachelor. I made mistakes that my ex-girlfriend interprets as malice.

Well, my life sucks.

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