2003-08-12
The essence of evil

Well, I have had an interesting time. I went to court to try to get a restraining order nullified. While that failed, the judge was so impressed he did make it apply in both directions. I believe it is because he doesn't feel comfortable simply reversing it outright. The judge did (wisely) say that perhaps we should try to move on, although the ex tried to bar me from writing about her in my diary.

OTOH, she probably writes many hate filled screeds about me in hers, and probably links hers to mine so that all of her fans can see the evil one. She could try not reading my diary, but I think that would probably be too hard for her.

It is interesting to watch what happens to someone consumed by hatred though. There are things I would never wish on my worst enemy (if I had one) that she wishes upon me. She knows how I feel about government, and she knows how I feel about confinement. Guess what she wants for me?

The root of all hatred and of all crime is to not view the other person as an individual. I have done that, although I do not do that now. She does that. I am the essence of all that is wrong in her life, an object of absolute hatred. If anything goes wrong, it is my fault in some way.

In the past if a store clerk was rude to her, it was because the clerk was racist. Now it is because somehow that clerk was told by me to be rude to her.

Her view of me is larger than life, and ultimately more myth than legend. I notice how she ascribes motives to me when the acutal (and known) motive isn't evil enough. Reject anything that is less than absolute evil and then make stuff up to fill in the gaps.

My girlfriend is very concerned about what may happen to me because of the vintictiveness of my ex. She's more worried about my going to jail than I am. I am fairly certain her case will get thrown out. My girlfriend is concerned about what if it isn't.

The pain of others is of no consequence when one is engaged in the quest of destroying the essence of all that is evil. I am more myth than man now.

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