2005-05-02
My baby is born.

It's official. I'm a father.

Save your congrats, because I'm exhausted.

My baby boy was born on April 16th, at 6:57 in the morning. He weighed 7 lbs 6 oz and was 21 1/2 inches long. Mother and child are both doing well, and were released from the hospital the next day.

My wife's sister and mother arrived from AZ to help out until graduation.

And I discovered something. My parents were right that I would make a good parent, and I was right that it would be the worst possible thing for me to do. The stress of taking care of a baby has driven me almost to distraction. I nearly broke down and cried during one of his crying bouts. We had already changed him, tried to feed him, were holding him to comfort him, and he was still crying. I can't handle this.

What do you do with a helpless person, not yet capable of rational thought, and able to express himself only through crying? After dealing with my psycho ex and her multiple disturbances, you would think that I was able to handle such a scenerio. At least my baby boy is SUPPOSED to act this way, as he is only a tiny infant.

I don't know what I am supposed to do and trying to figure it out is wearing me down. Of course, the biggest problem I have with my wife is that any time I get upset she gets upset, and when would like come comfort I wind up having to comfort her instead. I really have nowhere but here to express all of this.

My wife is making a strong argument for us to move to AZ and live with her parents for a year. I am agreeing with her but ... I don't want to. I like it here in South Cal, and don't want to leave. But we have a baby to take care of, and can't buy a house until after the bubble bursts.

It maeks me sad.

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