2007-05-01
happy beltane

I suppose my title is ironic on this much delayed entry. The reason is although I have plenty of reasons to be happy, I'm very depressed right now. And I'm very tired, so very tired. More than anything I just wish I could go to sleep.

My son is 2. He's been sick twice this year, once with a cold, once with an intestinal virus. My wife is always coming closer to finishing her story so she can send it to publishers. I'm bearing the entire financial load, and am considering taking a second job now that I'm down to one job (I'm finally out of the military).

Then there's the possibility that I'll be down to no jobs at the end of the month since the project I'm currently on is ending and a contractor without a project is a very sad person.

The USA is going down the crapper, and while that may eventually benefit me - I will be able to buy a house dirt cheap once the market finishes falling - I may not be able to do so if unemployed. I'm looking for a job right now, but so far the only one with a positive response has been one that will send me to Iraq. The pay is quite excellent, but I'd be in Iraq. R already told me there is no way I'm taking that job.

As of today I'm married 3 years. She does make me happy, but I regret bringing her into the problem that is my life.

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