2012-12-31
Never Mine to Lose

There was so much I wanted to say, but I lost access to Diaryland at work and didn't want to write this at home. But I have an opportunity now.

I switched from Zoloft to Lexapro, and the side effects are largely gone. It is a gentler drug.

So who is Ana Ng. She is the perfect woman, unrealizable, you cannot meet her. The first verse describes where Ana Ng is located - on the other side of the world. The second verse states that even if you were to come close to meet each other then you still just barely miss each other - the bench was still warm and you hear her in the background as phone lines are crossed. The chorus says she might not even exist.

And I met her. And she might as well be on the other side of the world. I am married, yet I love her dearly as much as I do love my wife. And even were I not married she is still unavailable because she doesn't find men particularly interesting in that way. Yet still I love her.

Upon figuring that out, I feel a slight twinge of sadness. Yet, to slightly paraphrase Eponine from Les Miserables, "she was never mine to lose."

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