2013-12-20
What now?

What now? Well, I lost my job. I got laid off, and now I have no health insurance or life insurance.

The good thing is that losing my job finally convinced me to take a hardship withdraw from my 401k and I used it to pay off the credit card bills as well as other sundry bills related to my daughter being born in September. The bad thing is that I don't have a job.

And, of course, my torn feelings remain torn. But now I'm off the Lexapro so I no longer have that crutch to sustain me. I'm cast adrift, to a certain extent. But I do have some training in keeping myself out of mental dead-end thoughts and a support network that I realized I could indeed rely on.

But I'm out of a job.

I'm looking all over the country for a new job, in between taking care of the new baby. And I mean all over. I've even had a phone interview with a company in Ohio. I've submitted resumes everywhere that is green, which is basically from the Mississippi River eastward and also the Pacific North West. And a resume to New Zealand.

The good thing about moving away, if I get a job away from here, is that I will move away from Ana Ng. The bad thing is that I will move away from Ana Ng. I'm responsible enough to know that I should not have anything more to do with her, but my feelings for her are such that I cannot make myself do so.

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